Orders of Magnitude

d0wnwardsp1ral: QTPi's sister
d0wnwardsp1ral: accidentally turned off their dvd player
d0wnwardsp1ral: in the middle of big
d0wnwardsp1ral: fish
d0wnwardsp1ral: and they lost the remote
Bokonon79: OOPS
d0wnwardsp1ral: so they have to start the movie all over again
Bokonon79: AWESOME
Bokonon79: did she refer to this situation as being...
a.) BORKED
b.) MEGABORKED
c.) PERMABORKED
d0wnwardsp1ral: [00:37] d0wnwardsp1ral: [00:37] Bokonon79: did she refer to this situation as being...

a.) BORKED
b.) MEGABORKED
c.) PERMABORKED
[00:37] QTPi: haha
[00:37] QTPi: megaborked
Bokonon79: NICE

Basic Thermodynamics

d0wnwardsp1ral: do you think it's bad
d0wnwardsp1ral: that i have my window open
d0wnwardsp1ral: and my heat on?
Bokonon79: YOU'RE DESTROYING THE OZONE LAYER

(10 minutes later)

d0wnwardsp1ral: IT'S FUCKING FREEZING IN MY APT

Disoriented!

d0wnwardsp1ral: ?
d0wnwardsp1ral: iy'd pri
d0wnwardsp1ral: wtf
d0wnwardsp1ral: i'm drunk
Bokonon79: BLOGGED

Logical Cohesion

d0wnwardsp1ral: my 8 key is borked
Bokonon79: YOU BORKED IT
Bokonon79: RM -RF /
d0wnwardsp1ral: BORKEN!
Bokonon79: http://www.borken.de/
Bokonon79: WILLKOMMEN!!!
d0wnwardsp1ral: EGRESS!
Bokonon79: OBI-WAN KENOBI!
d0wnwardsp1ral: CAPTAIN PICARD
Bokonon79: ENGAGE! MAKE IT SO!
d0wnwardsp1ral: KIRK!
Bokonon79: PROFESSOR X
d0wnwardsp1ral: STANLEY!
Bokonon79: HUGO CHAVEZ
d0wnwardsp1ral: GRYFFINDOR!
Bokonon79: IS THAT SPELLED WITH A Y?
d0wnwardsp1ral: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGGL,GGGL:2005-09,GGGL:en&q=gryffindor
Bokonon79: OH OKAY
Bokonon79: IN THAT CASE
Bokonon79: CHEESE PUFFS
d0wnwardsp1ral: HELEN KELLER!
Bokonon79: ROSEMARY'S BABY
d0wnwardsp1ral: STEVIE WONDER!
Bokonon79: JERRY GARCIA
d0wnwardsp1ral: NORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Bokonon79: (*)(*)(*)YOU WIN!!!!!!!(*)(*)(*)
d0wnwardsp1ral: HARRY POTTER'S TEST EASE WAS UNPARALLELED!
d0wnwardsp1ral: ALLELES!
Bokonon79: ALLEL'D!!!!!
Bokonon79: CEREBELLUM'D!!!!!
d0wnwardsp1ral: CHROMOSOMES!
Bokonon79: OW, MY STOMACH LINING!
d0wnwardsp1ral: HEART BURN!
Bokonon79: R-O-L-A-I-D-S!
d0wnwardsp1ral: RELIEF
Bokonon79: STOP REPEATING ME
d0wnwardsp1ral: YOU'RE JUST SO INSPIRATIONAL
Bokonon79: INSPIRATION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!
Bokonon79: * !!!!!
d0wnwardsp1ral: .!!!!!
Bokonon79: DEPENDS ON WHO IT IS
d0wnwardsp1ral: YOUR MOM
Bokonon79: YOUR MOM
d0wnwardsp1ral: your mom
Bokonon79: no, I insist, YOUR mom
d0wnwardsp1ral: you bastard!

"Black Friday" As They Call It

Okay, I have no idea who arbitrarily declared that the day after Thanksgiving was the day for everyone to run around in a rabid frenzy to complete their holiday shopping (answer: Wal-Mart, Macy's, Toys 'R Us, Best Buy, and the rest of the retail lobby). Depending on your choice of holiday, this year you have at least a month to do any shopping that said holiday requires. Did you hear that? AT LEAST A MONTH. Not AT LEAST A DAY. MONTH.

Therefore, by the power vested in me, I declare anyone who shops for holiday gifts on Black Friday (or anytime before December 20th, for that matter) a COMPLETELY USELESS SYCOPHANT WHOSE FEEBLE BRAIN IS HOSTAGE TO THE NUMBINGLY FORMULAIC AND HOPELESSLY INEPT MARKETING TACTICS OF MAJOR RETAILERS.

That said, this is hilarious:

Shoppers Scuffle at Orlando Wal-Mart

(Is the local news station featured here WFTV or WTFTV?)

Oh, and Mr(s). Media, there is blood on your hands too for writing stories like this:

One Word: Electronics

OH MY GOD!!! THE WORLD RAN OUT OF DISCOUNT ELECTRONICS THIS MORNING!!! WE'RE SCREWED!!!!

On a lighter and more random note:

Man accused of stealing $200,000 worth of Legos

And hey, I always wondered if there was an equation for this (thanks, Pei):

'Beer goggles' effect explained

EFFICIENCY

d0wnwardsp1ral: i'm gonna use my shower as a humidifier
Bokonon79: THAT'S INGENIOUS
Bokonon79: EFFICIENCY
Bokonon79: or, if you look at it another way
Bokonon79: EFFICIENCY^-1
d0wnwardsp1ral: not from my perspective
Bokonon79: exactly
Bokonon79: LAZINESS --> EFFICIENCY^-1
Bokonon79: therefore
Bokonon79: EFFICIENCY --> LAZINESS^-1
d0wnwardsp1ral: not necessarily
d0wnwardsp1ral: LAZINESS --> EFFICIENCY
d0wnwardsp1ral: THIS IS HOW I GET MY WORK DONE SO QUICKLY AT WORK
d0wnwardsp1ral: CUZ I DON'T WANT TO DO IT
Bokonon79: BUT YOU DO IT
Bokonon79: THAT'S EFFICIENCY
Bokonon79: what you're saying is
Bokonon79: LAZINESS --> EFFICIENCY --> LAZINESS^-1
Bokonon79: which is still true
d0wnwardsp1ral: yes
Bokonon79: also, I can define the operator "-->" to mean anything I want
Bokonon79: so I can also write
Bokonon79: LAZINESS --> EFFICIENCY --> LAZINESS^-1 --> RUBBER TREE --> STEPHEN HAWKING --> 6 --> LAZINESS
d0wnwardsp1ral: ANAL SEX
Bokonon79: --> ANAL SEX
d0wnwardsp1ral: haha
d0wnwardsp1ral: Bokonon79: --> ANAL SEX
d0wnwardsp1ral: that seems about rigtht
Bokonon79: YOU BASTARD

You Are The Government

In reference to www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/11/18/congress.iraq.ap/index.html:

Bokonon79: this article is amusing as it is
Bokonon79: but if you add Street Fighter moves to the end of every sentence
Bokonon79: it becomes much more so
Bokonon79: "It's just heinous," Rep. Ellen Tauscher, D-California, said of the Republican move while hurling a hadouken at House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Illinois.
Bokonon79: Rep. Harold Ford, D-Tennessee, charged across the chamber's center aisle, igniting several representatives with his yoga flame and screaming that Republicans were making uncalled-for personal attacks.
Bokonon79: "You guys are pathetic! Pathetic!" yelled Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Massachusetts, executing a flawless shouryuuken that connected brutally with Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tennessee.
Bokonon79: At one point in the emotional debate, Rep. Jean Schmidt, R-Ohio, told of a phone call she received from a Marine colonel.

Democrats booed and shouted her down -- causing the House to come to a standstill amidst a torrent of sonic booms and flipkicks.
d0wnwardsp1ral: SONIC BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
d0wnwardsp1ral: (¦) )))